..it's definitely been a while..

Wow. I can't believe how long it's been since I've made an entry on this blog. Last time I updated, it was November and I was in the middle of losing weight, getting healthy - but most importantly, training for my first ever half marathon!

All I can say is it was one of the most torturous, painful, and amazing experiences in my life! I trained for 6-7 months, and even training didn't prepare me for that race. I was training mostly in the fall and winter, so I was used to cold weather and we definitely didn't have that in Florida lol. It was 88% humidity, with 85-90 degree temps.. it was a lot to take on. But it was so exciting! Jeff and I completed the 5k and he earned his first medal, which was awesome! We also got to visit Epcot a little since that was one of the parks we weren't hitting recreationally since we only had a couple of days to visit the parks. But the entire weekend was so incredible!! There were VERY early mornings, and definite lack of sleep.. but the costumes, the support, and races were so worth it! The 5k was pretty easy, as we walked most of it- it wasn't timed, and we wanted to enjoy the scenery and what was going on around us. We did run a few times, but all in all, it was a relaxing race since the next day, I was running 13.1 miles.

The 1/2 was an experience in itself I will never forget. From the start line to FINALLY seeing the finish line, and every minute in between. I had my moments where I wanted to quit. I wanted to stop and turn around and be done, like I could do in training if I wanted. I didn't care if the buses swept me. I was at that point, but something kept telling me to go. Seeing Jeff every now and then definitely helped. His support and encouragement helped me the entire way, and he was so proud of me at the end.. and I was proud of me. I had an entourage screaming for me at the finish line and it was so awesome! I love my fellow princesses, and of course, my Prince Charming! It was humid as anything, and my entire body was swollen. I was in so much pain and trying to catch my breath.. but I did it. I got that gorgeous medal around my neck...and for the first time in a long time, I accomplished a goal that I set out for myself. But of course, it would've never happened if it wasn't for Jeff pushing me every training day, and the support I had from my princesses, my family, and my friends. It was such an unbelievable day. And the days following (about 2) of being in pain were worth every moment. Wearing that medal around my neck reminded me constantly of what I just endured, and completed. I intend on going back in 2018 and kicking butt! I plan on training better and harder so I can move up in corrals and beat my time. But, still... 6 months later (tomorrow will be 6 months since I ran the Princess! WOW!!!), I am so proud of myself for getting out there and doing it. :)

Of course, while all of this was going on, the conversation of trying to have a baby popped up, and Jeff and I agreed that after I was done the races, and life got back to normal once we were back home, we would start trying again. I ended up having a consultation with Dr. VanDeerlin on the 19th (2 days before we left for Disney), and I was given scripts for Provera, Metformin, Vitafol, and Tamoxifen, and was told to start the Provera on the 25th of February (the day after the 1/2 marathon.. that way I didn't have to worry about it messing with me during the race). So I did just that, but I started the Metformin and Vitafol on the 20th, so my body could get used to it again. After we came home from Disney, I received a phone call from the dr's office saying that my insurance wasn't covering ANYTHING anymore.. not even the IUIs, which they covered in 2009. I guess because I wasn't technically "diagnosed" according to the insurance company in 2009, they covered it. It was a complete bummer.

We started looking into adoption, and realized it wasn't for us. We went back to see Dr. VanDeerlin and he was very stern on not giving up. He told me that there are more options, but the first one is to take into my own hands.. that I was going to monitor myself. So I ended up buying a thermometer and OPKs and waited. It took about 10 days for the Provera to kick in..and kick my ass. It was one of the worst cycles I've ever experienced. It lasted 10 full days, never giving me a break. I kept telling myself that it was my body getting ready for something.. or at least catching up with itself since I only had one natural cycle during my weight loss. After that, it was onto monitoring. That was of course, after starting the 5 days of Tamoxifen.

After 3 weeks of the OPKs, I realized they weren't working for me, which I wasn't surprised because I was forewarned that PCOS patients sometimes have problems using them. But I did temp every morning like it was going out of style. Then April 18th, Jeff ended up in the hospital with an infection and ended up staying until the 21st. It was crazy, and at that point, I had stopped temping and didn't even think twice about the cycle. He came home on a Sunday night, and I took him to Red Lobster for dinner. I stopped at CVS because I remembered I needed to take a pregancy test to let the dr's office know if I needed more medication, or another appointment to see what's next. So the next morning, I woke up at 7:30 like I always do, and just took a test. I mean, honestly - 7 years of this crap.. I should've taken stock in HPTs. I can't tell you how many I've taken over the years.. and the amount of money - sheesh. But I digress lol. So I'm 1/2 asleep.. waiting for the negative to pop up so I can go back to sleep, and then call the dr when I get up again to make an appointment to come in and get more medication. In less than a minute... not one... but TWO LINES popped up. Mind you, I'm still half asleep looking at this thing... until I realized what I was looking at. I started crying and saying "Oh my God.. Oh my God" about 15 times lol. I took the test.. and went into the bedroom, jumped on the bed, and poor Jeff - lol.. I was like "DO YOU SEE THIS!? SERIOUSLY, DO YOU SEE THIS?!" It took him a minute since he was asleep too lol.. and then he saw it.. I started crying even more.. and he started crying - and I immediately called the dr's office.. in the middle of hyperventilating, of course.. and told them. We got up, and I never got dressed so fast hahaha. I went in for bloodwork, and then needed to wait until about 3pm that afternoon for a call back.

All I can say is THANK GOODNESS for same day results. At 1:48pm on April 22nd, I got a phone call from South Jersey Fertility... CONFIRMING the positive pregnancy test! That's right!! 7 years of utter hell, depression, testing, failure.. ugh.. so much.. and the first time we start trying again - IT WORKED! We were pregnant!! :)

So now I sit here, 23 weeks pregnant come Monday and I'm still just as ecstatic as I was the day we found out! It's gone by so quickly, and we have gone through so much. We ended up moving in June (technically started renting in May..), a week later, I lost my job.. and in July, we lost Jeff's dad to his battle with cancer. It's been an emotional summer so far, but all in all, we are getting by. We found out on August 10th during our gender reveal party/birthday BBQ that we are expecting a little girl! She is due December 23rd.. a Christmas baby of all things lol. She is growing into a bouncy, healthy baby and is constantly moving and kicking me. It's an amazing feeling! I felt her for the first time August 3rd.. and felt her kick my hand this past Sunday. Today, Jeff and I watched her move around in my belly and Jeff felt her for the first time. It's unreal. We are so excited, and can't wait to meet this little princess! We did name her, but we aren't telling anyone until the day she is born. We do have to keep something a secret lol. :)

It's been a crazy year, and to think a year ago.. I was working my butt off to lose weight and train for my first half. A year ago, I signed up for the Princess. This year, another dream of mine finally came true. It's a whirlwind of so much, but I wouldn't change a thing. I fall in love with her more and more everyday.. and feeling her move around makes me so happy. I can't believe I'm a week away from being 6 months. Already. Everyone is so excited - my mom screamed and cried so much when we told her.. and she is so happy she's getting a granddaughter. She kept telling me it would be a girl lol.

As long as this little peanut keeps growing the way she is, I'm happy. I can't wait to meet her, but I can.. we need her to keep growing healthy.. and we've waited this long. What's a few more months? And at this rate, it'll be here before we know it. It still feels like yesterday that we just found out we were finally pregnant, and I can't believe we only have a little over 4 months to go (fingers crossed that everything stays the way it is). She's our little princess already, and there are so many people ready to meet her and spoil the crap out of her lol.

And finally after all of these years, I feel complete. My heart is full. It was always missing something, and I knew that. This was it. :)

Okay, I'm done rambling lol.. it's getting late, and Jeff should be home from work soon so we can all finally go to bed! :) I hope I remember to write more.. my mind has officially gone to pregnancy brain.. so we'll see lol.

Until next time, loves.
oxoxoxoxoxo.

**UPDATE**  I completely forgot that I wrote about my pregnancy in the previous post - but I didn't publish it being that it was 2 days after we found out and we hadn't told anyone yet.. oops! hahaha.