A Letter to My Sister.

When I was little, I never thought of having a sister. I was 5. Who thinks that? But when Mommy told me that I was going to be a big sister, I didn't know then that my life would change drastically. I was the only child. I was Daddy's little girl, and all eyes were on me. For 6 years, Mom and Dad were mine. Then you were born. I remember when Mom went into labor with you. She woke me up first, telling me to wake Daddy up. From there, it was just a fast moving situation. Next thing I knew, I was watching the Disney Channel in Aunt Doreen's living room at the Somers Point house. Then Poppy and Grandmom picked me up, and I remember fighting with Poppy saying I wanted to go to school, because I was afraid of getting in trouble. They kept telling me "no, your little sister was born today. It's a very special day. You can miss school." They took me to breakfast on Bay Ave, and waited to hear an update from Dad about you and Mom. I slept over Poppy and Grandmom's for two days. The second day, Daddy picked me up and brought me to the hospital to see Mom. I walked in and Mom was holding you. Daddy placed me in the chair across from Mom's bed and he put you in my arms. You looked at me, and I did nothing but smile. I was a big sister. That was the day I knew my life wouldn't just be Heather. It was Heather .. big sister. After Mom and Dad brought you home, I remember always wanting to help out to take care of you. I was so proud that I had a baby sister. We were close. I was always making you laugh. You were my baby. That's what I always thought. As you started crawling, and walking... you became more fun. You moved around. We could play more. We were able to do more things. It was great. We were inseperable.

As we got older, I started to not want to hang out with you. I was becoming a teenager, and it wasn't cool to hang out with your younger siblings. So we did what all other siblings do.. fought beyond belief. For so long, it seemed. We grew apart. I had my group of friends, and I was doing a lot more. And we couldn't stay in the same room for more than 5 minutes without fighting. Then David came along, and things changed even more. Forward a few more years down the road, and I moved out. We became close again. You were a teenager, and I was the experienced ex-teenager turned adult. You were starting to come to me for advice. We talk everyday. And it wasn't until then I realized, we were always best friends. That no matter what, we always found eachother. Even if we had a huge fight, we'd always find each other for love and support. You are my very best friend. My longest best friend. And now.. 18 years later, I can't believe it. My baby sister will officially be an adult. From that chubby cheeked little girl who had one of the cutest laughs. The one who didn't care if I put a huge pair of sunglasses on her. To this amazing young woman. With such confidence and pride. And a strength beyond anyone's imagination. I'm in absolute awe. To witness 18 years of your life, and to be such a great part of it is such an honor. You have made me so proud in your accomplishments, and sometimes following my steps. I am definitely, absolutely the luckiest big sister in the world. I take that title very seriously. And nothing makes me happier than to say, "Yep.. that's my sister." You are unbelievably awesome, Lauren. And always, we are sisters by blood, but definitely, definitely best friends by fate. I never thought after all of those fights that we would come out walking hand in hand. But I am very happy that it became the end result. And we will walk hand in hand for the rest of our lives, no matter what. I will always catch you when you fall, and I will always dry your tears. I'm the ear that will listen to whatever it is you have to say, and your shoulder to lean on when you need to let go for a minute. I'm your number one fan cheering you on the loudest through your goals and accomplishments. I'm your wall when you need protection. And I'm your heart when you need more love. You're the best little sister anyone could have ever asked for, and I am extremely blessed to know that you're mine. You're all mine. No one will have you as a little sister. And I wouldn't ever want to share that with anyone else. I love you so much, Sissy. Happy 18th Birthday. I hope it's amazing. Just like you.

Love you Always and Always,
Sissy.

You just got SERVED!

Yes.. you read correctly! Finally, after weeks of waiting for an update, the on again, off again hate for my mailman became a feeling of gratefulness, as he put something in my mailbox, I thought I wouldn't be seeing for a while : a letter from my lawyer. I, of course, was naturally going through the mail.. this bill, that statement, and 2 magazines later, and there it was.. hiding.. I got inside, threw the rest of the crap..err..mail on the couch and tore into that envelope like it was full of a million dollars. And my lovely brown eyes read it.. my hands touched it; my copy of the papers from the Superior Court.. the papers they served my insurance company! I felt weak at the knees. Tears came to the surface and streamed down my face for a few minutes.. and the huge sigh of relief came over me. This is reality. This isn't a dream. This is... amazing.

And this came after a few days of constantly calling the lawyer (which I feel horrible for.. my freaking impatience.. it's my weakness!) and not getting an answer, or a call back after I left (countless) messages. I went from being like "okay, he's on vacation.." to .. "okay, now he's freaking ignoring me..wtf.." to "omg.. seriously.. I hope he's okay since he never goes this long without responding back to me.." all in a course of like 3 days. But I got the letter, so I'm guessing he's okay. And I called him today, of course (would you expect anything less from me?? I mean, really..) and he didn't answer.. again. So I left a message apologizing about 20 times for calling him so much, and asked the question I had on my mind..and thanked him about 15 times for mailing me a copy of the letter. I hope to hear something from him soon.

The insurance company has 35 days to respond, and I think that was from October 19th. So I give it to the end of November at the latest for them. I'm not really expecting it to happen, but I'm hoping I'll be headed up to the Poconos this Christmas with my injections in tow! :)

Amazing how a simple letter could bring so many emotions and tears to my eyes. :)

Just think .. reacting to a letter this way.. how will I react when I eventually find out that I'm pregnant?! HAH.

oxoxoxo.