To the absolutely, best, greatest, most wonderful, amazing, incredible, extraordinary, perfect dog ever....

I am posting sooner than expected..

to share with you the unfortunate news. Bandit was put to rest at 11:55am yesterday morning.

He wasn't doing too well as of Friday night, took a turn for the worse Sunday night, and it just went downhill from there.

Yesterday morning, we found him in the front room. He'd gotten sick and was bleeding from the groin, as he was Sunday night. Jeff tried getting him up to go outside, and he wouldn't move. He didn't have the strength anymore, so we carried him to the truck, and headed to hospital. Jeff's dad met us there, and we had to roll him in on a stretcher. They took him in the back, and had us wait in a room. The vet came in about 5 minutes later and just shook her head. She said all of the money in the world couldn't help him, it was his time. So I signed the papers tearfully, and I don't even know if I got my signature on the line. The nurses rolled him in, and he was so out of it. The vet said as they were rolling him in, they were going. Then she started the injections.. my hand was on his chest and I was holding his paw. He stared right at me as it was happening.. looking at me like "help me please" ..which is now a picture I can't get out of my head. And within not even the vet finishing the first injection, I felt him stop breathing and his heart stop. I looked at Jeff..balled my eyes out and shook my head. He was gone. It was the absolute hardest decision we ever had to make, and we really didn't have a choice. He's no longer in pain, and that's what I have to keep thinking.

He lived a great life, and was with us for 11 years and 5 days. He was the best. You seriously couldn't ask for a better dog. He was perfect. I am honored and so blessed to have been able to be his mommy, and to have named him, and spent so much time with him. He's got my heart, and he always will.

He's being cremated, and when he's ready, he'll be coming back home to his house to rest in peace where he belongs.

I miss him so much, and my heart feels so heavy and hurts. My eyes are swollen and my head is pounding. Jeff is being so strong. Thank god for him, because he's been my rock. And I am really grateful for him..

Bella (our 1 year old boxer) is taking it hard too. She's usually a huge ball of energy, and she hasnt left our/my side since last night. She's just laying around sleeping. She whimpers here and there. I know she knows Bandit's gone. She laid in the kitchen where he laid Sunday night, then laid on his bed. She won't leave my side, and I really don't mind it. I'm thankful to have her, because I don't know what I would do.

Thank you to those who have sent their condolences and support to Jeff and I, and our family. We really appreciate it. He's in a better place, and no longer in pain. And thats all that matters.

Bandit,

We miss and love you so much. We hope you're okay, and you're that happy energetic dog we've always known. We'll be okay down here. Just have to shed a few more (thousand) tears. We know you'll be with us always. I love you so much, Bubba. Rest easy..we got it from here. Watch over Bella and play forever. I better see you at the gates with that tail wagging. You're the best and no one will ever, ever, ever come close to you. Give em hell and show em who's the best. Daddy and I miss you sooooo much, and love you even more. See you soon, Bandit. <3

RIP

6.15.2000-6.20-2011

Only God takes the best...<3

So here I am..

It's been a while, I know. Just haven't really had the interest to write. But I don't have much to do now, so I'd figure I'd update you on what's been going on in my world..

Still at CVS, and I have no idea why. I hate my job so much, but I know I can't leave it until I find a new job. But.. that is a feat in itself, and I am so tired of putting myself out there. And I know it's probably a waste, since summer literally (officially, by calendar only, of course) starts next week. And everyone's out of school. So I'm just going to push through and bite my tongue. Let's just hope I don't give myself a self-piercing. (I think I've come pretty close sometimes).

I haven't posted since, but I am now a Tastefully Simple consultant. I signed up the last week of February, and have been working since. I absolutely love it. To be able to share food and whatnot and have fun with different people is really great. I've started out slow (only 3 parties so far), but I'm having a wonderful time, nonetheless. Throwing it out there - if you're interested in having a party, or ordering, contact me (facebook.com/kotazbabiigurl143 or hhubbs9686@gmail.com).

Another upside - I'm down 21lbs. I should be down more than that at this point, but I've kept the weight off after falling off the wagon quite a few times. I did have a bet going on with my mom to see if I could lose 60 lbs by August 1st, and she would give me money. However, I know I'm not going to reach that goal, but my mom also just recently had surgery and is out of work until further notice, so I'm not expecting money at all. So I have a mini goal for myself, 240lbs by August 26th...

Why that date??

Because thats when (another good thing to post about, thank God!) we head to our first trip to Disney!!!! I'm so freaking excited, it's ridiculous. I think we have like 73 days, 4 hours, and 22 minutes or something like that. (I only know that because of the Disney widget I have on my Droid and my computer lol). We're going with my best friend, her husband, and their two daughters. Jeff and I have never been, at all, and we've been talking about going to Disney for years. We're making it our overdue honeymoon/5th anniversary gift. I cannot wait to go. I think Jeff and I both need to get away from the stress and hell we've been dealing with for the last few months. And I think it's more than appropriate to say that we're ready to escape reality. We booked in October of last year, and have been waiting since then, and though to me, on some days it can't come soon enough, it really is going by quickly. Before we know it, Jeff will be on his first week of vacation (we're going on his second week) and I'll be scurring to get everything done. I really can't wait though.

Alright, now to one of the not so good things going on right now. Our 10 year old (soon to be 11..actually tomorrow..) dog, Bandit isn't doing so well. A few weeks ago, we noticed his neck became very swollen, and he was very lethargic. We took him to the animal hospital and the vet said it could be one of two things : an infection (which we hoped for), or lymphoma (the most common type of cancer found in dogs). However, with his symptoms, and the quickness of how it all happened, the vet was pushing more towards cancer than anything. Bandit has been on prednisone for the past 2 weeks, and just finished his antibiotic yesterday. He's been getting sick some days, and others he's been pretty good. Normal good and bad days that cancer patients have, unfortunately. We've also noticed that his body has thinned out majorly, and seemed to happen overnight. We took him back to the hospital yesterday, and although he was showing some improvements, he keeps going downhill. His thinning out is what I feared - weightloss. He weighed in at 91lbs. He usually is around 110-120lbs. He hasn't been under 100 since he was a puppy. You can see his skull, and his backbone, and it's frightening. The vet said that it's the cancer eating away at his muscle mass. We haven't had the testing done to officially diagnose him yet, since the funds aren't there, but we also have to wait for him to finish out the prednisone to see if/when his throat flairs back up again, and once that does, then we go for the biopsy and x-rays to see exactly what it is, and if its spreading. Then we have to figure out if we go through with chemo, or if it's just better to put him down. The vet said that if we wait for him to pass naturally, it won't be quiet and calm. He'll be in distress, and in pain, and have trouble breathing. I don't want him to suffer. So right now, it's just a waiting game, which is something I know too well, and of course absolutely dread. So we'll see. And sadly enough, my mother in law and I both have said to each other that we have a feeling we'll only be dropping Bella off when we go to Disney... not two dogs. I don't want to think of that at all, but I can't help it. I just pray that if it does have to happen, he'll let us know sooner than later, so he doesn't have to be in pain for too long.

Okay, I think I'm done. I am numb from all of these bad things going on around me. Hopefully I'll have a good thing to post about next time.